Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Randomize