I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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