Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
