i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
