I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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