Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
