Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my shit smells like andre
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize