Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
