so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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