Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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