Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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