I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I faked an abortion last night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
