So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
