I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
