Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
