is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
