I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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