Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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