he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
