Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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