the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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