I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
