4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
