I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
