Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
