This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
