you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
