Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
