It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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