using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
