drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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