No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
