I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
