but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
