I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
