I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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