Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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