hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
