does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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