I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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