I can't watch pbs sober anymore
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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