In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
