he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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