I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
