You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
