He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There r osticjed everywhere
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
