Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
