Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize