just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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