Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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