oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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