so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
