Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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