My liver just broke up with me...
it hurts more in the daytime
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
