A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
