Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
