i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
