wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
