was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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