Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
