i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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