i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
