I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
