I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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