Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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