I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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