The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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