You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We are all done wearing pants today
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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