wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
