I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
